9 months -- 36 weeks -- 252 days

This week marks the official beginning of the end.  As of Monday I now visit the doctor on a weekly basis.  Today when I was there they just did the same old routine: pee in cup, get weighed, blood pressure check, measure fundal height, and listen to the heartbeat.  I thought they were going to start checking my cervix today, but that is going to start next week.  Fun times.

• heartbeat was 146bmp
• fundal height was exactly 36cm - right on track from last week's 34cm
• she's head down with most of her body hanging out on my left side

I also had the big maternity leave discussion with work Monday morning.  All we did was go through the calendar to get an idea of when I'd go out and when I'd return.  People keep asking me if I'm sure I'm going to come back.  Umm... duh.  Unless someone else is going to pay me for staying at home I kind of have to go back to work.  I know why they are asking here though.  Last year they hired a new teacher, she went out on maternity leave in October saying that she was going to come back after Christmas break, and then quit.  They couldn't get anyone in to fill her spot until February.  Craziness.  So, as of now, my last day of work will be November 18th and my return date will be either January 2nd or 9th.  I am planning on working until she comes so if she doesn't come over the weekend of November 19th-20th, I'll be back at work on the 21st.  That's only a 2 1/2 day work week anyway.  I know there are some skeptics out there thinking I'm nutso, why don't I take time out before she comes, yadda-yadda.  For what?  Seriously?  What are you expecting me to do?  I'm sure your answers are: clean the house, spend some time for myself, hang out with Bryan, etc. but we do that at night and on the weekends.  If I took time out before she came all I would be doing is taking away from time that I'd get to have with her once she's actually here.  I only have six weeks guys.  Six weeks and it's back to the grindstone.  The way it's looking right now I'm either going to have to go on disability for a week or two or go a week or two without pay because I only have 21 sick days saved up.  I'm definitely not going to use them to lounge around the house in my underwear.

This week we've also checked out a pediatrician and ANOTHER day care center.  I have to know how the hell people pay for daycare.  $200-275 per WEEK!  I was talking to my boss about how outrageous day care was and said that I could buy a new Lexus for that price per month.  Her hilarious response was, "Maybe that's why so many people name their kids after cars -- because that's what they really wanted to spend that money on."  I almost died.  Too funny.  Seriously though.  $800-1000 a month?  When you break it down it's really only $6-7 an hour but damn.  Thank God I have summers off because we're going to need to recoup our bank account then.  We still haven't picked a day care, go figure, but we have picked a Pediatrician!

Crenshaw Melon?

Time Left:  2-4 weeks
                   14-36 days

Size of Baby:  weight = almost 6 lbs.
                        length = 18.5 inches

Fruit comparison --------------------}

Weight Gain:  Starting weight = 140 lbs.
                         Current weight = 171 lbs.
                         Total weight gain = 31 lbs.

My Body: 

This is about to get very TMI folks so brace yourselves.  I have now reached the point where I cannot see ANYTHING directly below my belly.  Use your imagination here.  Yes, I can bend over a little and see my thighs, knees, shins, and feet but I cannot see other places directly under my belly.  Have any of you ladies, or gentlemen I suppose, tried to landscape around Ladytown with a razor, mirror, and a prayer before?  I would not recommend it.  Not that I can totally see the final product but I'm pretty damn sure that the path leading into Ladytown is seriously lacking curb appeal.  I told Bryan that I almost used his mini hair clippers instead of going in blind with a razor and he almost vomited so I'm glad that I didn't.  Hey, I was getting desperate.  I was in the shower so long trying to maneuver that I started to run out of hot water.  Desperate times call for desperate measures.


The Nursery:

35 weeks -- 245 days

Honeydew melon.  Does anyone else
get these things mixed up with
cantaloupe?

Time left:  3-5 weeks
                 21-35 days

Size of baby:  weight = 5 1/4 lbs.
                        length = 18 inches
Fruit comparison ------------------}

At my doctor's appointment yesterday she said that I was measuring at 34 weeks instead of 35.  Of course I went home to look up what exactly that meant.  Didn't find anything to be concerned about.  She uses measuring tape to measure the distance between my pubic bone and the top of the uterus (fundus).  The number of weeks pregnant you are should match with her measurement (ie. I should have been 35cm but was only 34).  Since I have now started my weekly doctor visits she said that they'd just keep an eye on it.  Strong heartbeat and a lot of movement so everything seems good.

Harper: She is still in there cooking and moving around.  We poke and bother her daily now.  My favorite thing, still, is when Bryan reaches over to find her.  It's nice now that he actually can.  He just looks so excited when he can feel her moving around.  I love it.  Other than that, she's putting on weight and her:

• kidneys are fully developed
• all basic physical developments are complete

Now we just play the waiting game...


Weight gain:  starting weight = 140 lbs.
                        current weight = 172 lbs.
                        total weight gain = 32 lbs.

My Body:

shorts and a tank in October - Hell yeah!

Full frontal

I have really been avoiding this week's post.  I'm not sure why but I'm just not very into it right now.  I am always thinking of things that I want to say or comment on but sitting down to write it has me feeling like I have to write a term paper for school.
I notice the Braxton Hicks contractions daily now.  At first I had no idea what they were but eventually pieced it all together.  I thought I was crazy until I had Bryan feel the difference.  He confirmed my suspicions.  I did learn something cool at the doctor's this week:

• weak contractions feel like the tip of your nose
• medium contractions feel like your chin
• strong contractions feel like your forehead

Very helpful information doctor, thanks!  So now when I have Braxton Hicks you can catch me pushing my belly then immediately pushing on my nose, chin, and forehead so I can judge what's going on.  They don't hurt; everything just gets really tight and weird almost like she's going spread eagle in there pushing in every direction at once.  My knees and finger joints are still killing.  Asked the doctor about that and she told me to take Tylenol - thanks, but no thanks.

Recent comments that made me raise an eyebrow (and, at times, my blood pressure):

• Are you sure there's only one baby in there?
  -Yes.  I'm due in 5 weeks.  There is definitely only one baby. 
  -What?!  Oh, never mind.  I didn't realize you were so far along.  Girl, you look good!
• You've been looking tired lately...
  -I work with kids all day and I don't go to bed when I'm supposed to.  I'm sure I'll look the same even after the baby comes.
• Are you having a baby?  {-- this is a kid question that I get AT LEAST once a day
• What do you need bottles for?  If you're breastfeeding you'll confuse her.
  -No, I will not confuse her.  She is a living organism who's survival in life depends on eating.  She will figure it out from the boob and the bottle because when she goes to daycare she can't take my breasts with me.
• You're piercing her ears while she's a baby?  I wouldn't do that if I were you.
  -Well, since you're not me you don't have to worry about it then do you?
• How are you feeling?
  -Don't even get me started.  If you can't make conversation with me unless it's about how I feel or if I'm ready for her to come then follow the rule of 'silence is golden'.
• I bet you're ready to get her out of there, huh?
  -No.  Not necessarily.  She's not ready yet and I'm not miserable in any way.  She's perfectly fine hanging out in my uterus.

And with that I think I'm going to chalk this week's post up as a loss.  It's now Sunday, October 23rd and I'm just now getting around to finishing and posting.  I'm just going to start on this week's post so that it's a little better.

The Nursery:

Thank you Aunt Lynn and Kerry!

34 weeks - 238 days

Time Left: 4-6 weeks

                  28-42 days
*Before I post this week's fruit picture I have to have a tiny moment.  There is going to be a tiny person in my house in 6 weeks or less {deep breath}.  Not only will there be a tiny person, she will be MY tiny person...

Size of Baby: weight = 4 3/4 lbs.
                        length = 18 inches

Harper: Well, the website research that I've done on week 34 tells me that Harper should be moving down into the pelvic region this week.  At my last doctors appointment I asked if she could tell how she was situated in there.  I mainly wanted to know what I was feeling when she moved.  Was that a foot? Butt? Head? Hands?  She squished around for about two seconds before she concluded that Harper was already head down.  She's not within the pelvic bone area but she is facing down in the uterus.  Apparently when she 'drops' I'll be able to breathe better, but I'll have increasing pressure down below.  The more I read about the baby 'dropping' the more I appreciate not being able to breathe so well.  When she drops: increasing pressure, possible sciatica, and back pain.  Yippie!

Harper's liver is not quite ready yet but she is able to process some waste, which I'm sure she's expelling into the amniotic fluid and then ingesting (disgusting!).  Because her organs aren't completely developed and functioning, she could develop jaundice after birth which is common and harmless.



Weight Gain:  starting weight = 140 lbs.
                         current weight = 170 lbs. {--- ahh!
                         total weight gain = 30 lbs.

11 weeks

34 weeks

My Body:  Nothing much to report really.  My right ankle still likes to swell up a little bit but I can still see the bones so I have accepted it.  My boss thinks I'm crazy because I'm still wearing heels at work (only once a week though).  I also still have the same number of stretch marks that I discovered last week (thank God) except I have noticed a new and exciting belly trait.  I've felt the stretching skin before and feel it now, but on top of that I think that my upper abdominal muscles are tearing.  I wonder if that can actually happen.  Your muscles stretch so far that they actually tear?  I should look it up.  Thankfully I only felt that 'pain' last night.  I think I made Bryan think I was having contractions because he asked me how often I felt it.  Poor thing.  It took me a minute to see the small amount of panic in his eyes before explaining to him what the pain actually felt like.  It wasn't in waves or coming every 'X' number of minutes.  It felt like a pulled muscle when I moved in certain ways.

One more thing I realized this weekend about pregnant bellies.  I'll use a quick analogy to explain:

pregnant bellies:women as large breasts:men

My sister helped me see this comparison this past weekend when I went home to visit.  When I got there she came down to help me get my things out of the car.  The FIRST thing she did when she came out of the door was give a little squeal and bee line for my belly, arms outstretched and palms at the ready for optimal groping.  Not that I've ever had a man squeal while preparing to grope my boobs but, I was thinking to myself, "Hey!  I'm up here!"

The Nursery: The nursery is almost complete!  We now have all of the furniture we were hoping for and the only thing left to do it to get some odds and ends for decorations and storage.  It is hard to see the nursery as complete because everything that we've gotten for Harper (high chair, stroller, car seat, toys, bassinet, etc) have been shoved into the room because we don't need them out in the open yet.

Yes.  I am aware that bumpers and stuffed animals are a
suffocation hazard.  Calm down, she's not in there yet.

Bedding from my mom 

Car seat from my Grandma

Bassinet from my Assistant Principal who just came back
from maternity leave with her 4th :)

Family Baby Shower!

Before I go into the baby shower I need to give some background information on myself.

Being the center of attention makes me very nervous and anxious.  Yes, I hide it well but inside I'm most likely panicking.  On my wedding day, while I was in the changing room by myself, I had a mini panic attack.  Not because I was afraid to get married, but because I was afraid of being in front of 100 people who'd be staring at me for 15-20 minutes.  When I'm in a 'center of attention' situation I have a hard time thinking of myself.  I'm too worried about whether everyone is having a good time, if everyone is mingling and getting along, have *I* made time to talk with all of my guests, etc.  It's hard to relax.  I also have a hard time accepting gifts.  I love them, don't get me wrong.  I also love getting them (duh) but I never want anyone to feel obligated to buy me something just because they are attending a function for me (ie. wedding, baby shower, birthday, etc).  I really just want everyone to get together, hang out, and have a good time.

Now that you know my deep, dark insecurities about being in a situation where I am the 'woman of the hour', let's get on with the show.

I have actually been excited about my baby showers.  The gift thing is easier to digest because the gifts aren't for me, they're for Harper, and generally people are excited about babies and WANT to get them things that they need.  I feel like babies are easy to shop for too since they don't have an opinion that you have to work to please.  I also know that babies are expensive and we have realized long ago that there are just some things that you can't do alone.  Preparing for your first child is one of them.  I gladly welcomed all baby items: big/small, used/new, newborn/toddler, because we just can't get everything on our own.  We are just so thankful to have an unusually large family that is ready, willing, and excited to help us start this new journey.

Family background
While Bryan and I agree that it's hard being a child with divorced parents, we did realize that something great is going to come out of it.  Because both of our parents are divorced and most have since remarried, Harper will now have:

• 8 great grandparents
• 7 grandparents
• a BUNCH of great aunts/uncles (I'm guestimating 20+)
• 3 aunts/2 uncles
• 2 cousins (so far)

That is absolutely crazy if you ask me!  I was lucky enough to meet one great-grandmother when I was little, but I don't remember much about her.  All I know is that Harper is going to be very well loved.

The Shower
Sorry.  I got a little carried away there, but now I have refocused (ADD?  Who knows.  I just think that I have a lot to say and need to find the best times to get it all out).  Back to the actual shower.
Since a lot of our family is in Northern Virginia/Maryland AND my mom wanted to throw it for me, we thought it best to have the shower near Manassas at my grandparents' house.  I got to spend the weekend at my mom's house, which I don't get to do a whole lot because of work and other things going on in life, and most of mine and Bryan's family were able to attend because they weren't all driving 3-4 hours down to Virginia Beach.  I did get to see a lot of the shower getting put together by my mom the night before and she even let me help with some things (I asked because I have a hard time not being in control).  I filled up tiny bottles with candies, helped her pick out the shower games, and went to the store with her for odds and ends.  She did most of the work and everything was amazing.  I'm not completely convinced that she even slept the night before the shower because every time I got up to go to the bathroom, I could hear her in the dining room working on shower things.  I do know that the last time I got up was around 4:30-5am.

I was really surprised that I actually had no idea what the finished product was going to look like.  I knew they were making a diaper cake, I knew that Bryan's mom was bringing the cake, I knew that my mom was making tiny cupcakes to look like rattles, I knew they were doing something with a watermelon, and I THOUGHT I had it all figured out, but it was WAY better than what I pictured in my mind.

It was fall/baby themed (at my request).  There were pumpkins, orange/yellow flowers, hot apple cider, spice cake, carrot cupcakes, and more.  The baby theme came out in the hanging sign, the 'it's a girl' stake in the ground out front, and the gifts.  It all worked really well together.  I was lucky enough to spend the afternoon with some wonderful women from both sides of our family: 5 aunts (Marie, Sue, Rhonda, Dorothy, Margaret, and Genny), 2 grandmothers (Naquin and Sluzars), mom, my sister Melissa, my sister-in-law Jaime, my mother-in-law Ginny, and two of my cousins Stacey and Brittney.  We ate, I opened presents, we played two games, and got to spend time together.  Besides the wedding, which was a mad house, mine and Bryan's families haven't gotten the opportunity to all be together.  I think that's what I was most excited about.  It's hard when we each have our mom's side, dad's side, and a step-family to bring to the table.  Not to mention that they are spread out in Virginia and Maryland.

To give a good recap on the shower I think it's best to just post pictures from here on out.  If I keep talking about it, you're just going to go to sleep reading or click to see what everyone's doing on Facebook.  Don't lie.  I know what you do.  Because it's what I'd do.

Decorations

Games

Belly Molesters

Me and my Grandma

Mom, Grandma, Me (and Harper)

Me and Auntie Jaime

Grandpa, me, and Grandma

Me and Auntie Melissa

Mom, me, and Auntie Melissa

Harper's Grandmas!!

Harper's overly excited aunts

33 weeks - 231 days

I never realized that a pineapple weighed 4 lbs.

Time Left:  5-7 weeks                  

                   35-49 days

Size of Baby:  weight = 4 lbs.

                        length = 17 inches

Food comparison -------------}

Harper:  I suppose Harper is pretty much done morphing into a tiny human in there.  With every week that goes by it seems like there's less and less information on development.  All I know is that she's definitely getting bigger because what was once little pokes and jabs are now rolls and tumbles in my belly.  If you look at the right time you can see waves rolling across my stomach.  Other than that, her bones are continuing to harden and about 10 lbs. of my weight gain is from Harper, the placenta, and the amniotic fluid, which means that I should instantly lose 10 lbs. after giving birth.  Swwwweeeeeeetttt!!

Weight Gain:  Starting weight = 140 lbs.

                         Current weight = 168 lbs.

                         Total weight gain = 28 lbs.

I'm looking like a pink marshmallow on a stick

My Body:  I don't have AS much to say about my body this week as I did last week, but I do want to take a quick second to answer the questions that are constantly asked of me:

1. How are you feeling?
   -I'm sorry to disappoint, but I feel like a human.  I feel like I always do besides the fact that I wear maternity clothes, have a belly, and my hands are swollen a bit.  What do you want or expect me to say?  What if I was having chronic diarrhea, fainting spells, and frequently peed myself when sneezing or laughing?  Would you really want to know that?!  Shall I start telling people how often I get up to pee in the middle of the night or that I have to slide to the end of the couch and grunt as I'm getting up?  A few times I've even rolled off of the couch/bed and onto the floor to get up just because it's easier.  I wonder how people at work would feel if I unleashed that beast upon them.  They probably wouldn't ask how I am feeling anymore.  Experiment?
2. Do you know what you're having?
   -This questions doesn't bother me unless you've already asked me before.  This happens a lot at work (notice a theme?).  This morning I had a woman ask me, again, what I'm having and what her name is.  Problem there is that she's asked me FOUR times now.  I see this woman EVERY day so it's not like she's meeting me for the first time. 

Alright.  Enough of that, back to me.  So it has happened.  I have been slathering myself in cocoa butter lotions and oils since I found out that I was pregnant to avoid this very thing, but alas I have fallen victim to stretch marks.  I found the first one last Friday.  Luckily my stretch marks are the same color as my skin so they aren't noticeable unless I point them out, which naturally I have been doing. I thought that the one above my belly button was the only one, but was sadly mistaken again when my friend Analiese let me in on the fact that sometimes stretch marks hide underneath your belly where you can't easily see.  Sure enough... there they were.  Dammit.  It just doesn't seem fair after the bottles of cocoa butter lotions, pastes, and oils I've gone through.  Not to mention that I HATE the smell of cocoa butter.  It reminds me of old, decayed, turning white, Easter chocolate.  Vomit.  I have 5-7 weeks to go and can only expect my stomach to grow out even more, which yields the chance for the stretch marks that I have to lengthen or for them to spawn siblings.

On the up side:

• I have only gotten positive comments on my appearance.  Most people who find out that I'm in my 8th month can't believe it.  I like that I am fortunate enough to be a thinner looking pregnant lady.  And I'm definitely not pregorexic or whatever they have started calling pregnant women that starve themselves so they don't gain weight.  Trust me, I eat.  I have gained almost 30 lbs. and most people can't believe that either.  To them I say, "Thank you!"
• I LOVE maternity clothes.  I do not love having to buy them, but wearing them is fantastic.  I do have on a button up shirt today that makes me feel slightly 80's pregnant or Kristy Allen pregnant in Look Who's Talking, but other than that I love them!  I'm even rocking a poncho as it gets cooler out, which is something that I never would have done because I would have thought that it made me look fat and/or pregnant.  Well, problem solved! 

The Nursery:  We got the glider and ottoman today!  The nursery is almost complete!!

I'm sure we're going to be spending a lot of
time here.  Thank you Grandma Ginny!!

From Uncle Zach the Cavalier -- he says that it's never too
early to start thinking about college :)

Childbirth Class #5 (final class!): Thank God!  I am so glad that this class is finally over.  Now I'm not saying that the class wasn't beneficial, but I will say that I wish we had just signed up for the one-day Saturday class instead of the 5 week Tuesday night class.  Everything just seemed to long and drawn out. 

In our last class we watched a vaginal birth which, if you've been reading, I have been VERY against and was planning on avoiding at all costs.  Well, once it was on it was like rubbernecking a traffic accident; you just couldn't look away.  The good thing was that they never really showed the baby emerging from Ladytown.  They did show the baby's head poking out for a few seconds, but it was just like the labor scene in Knocked Up so I wasn't as horrified as I expected to be.  The rest of the birth was from the view point of the dad watching from over mom's tummy.

We also had a special visit from one of the couples that had twin girls two weeks ago at 33 weeks.  They were both in class the first day and then it was only the dad for class 2-3 because she was admitted to the hospital because one of her baby's sacs ruptured so she had to be admitted.  Anyway, they both came to celebrate our last class and to tell us all about their labor and how the babies are doing.  It was a nice change of pace hearing about an actual birth experience instead of learning technical and medical terms relating to it.

We ended class by having goodies and talking a little about the post-pardom period and how to soothe our new babies.  Bryan and I celebrated by stopping by Dairy Queen for blizzards!!  I had to have the new pumpkin pie blizzard and oh my lord it was worth it!

My take on HOV:  I was naughty last week.  I got into the HOV lane when it was HOV2 only.  I couldn't help it, I had to.  There was heinous traffic from the Naval base AND from some idiots that couldn't drive and caused an accident (thank you traffic app).  I risked it because I was planning on playing the pregnancy card IF I got pulled over.  I didn't.  Technically don't I count as two people?  I mean, if she's born today she'd most likely survive and therefore should count as a person.  Since I didn't get pulled over I decided to look up the HOV rules when I got to work.  I was surprised to find that I must not have been the only one to try to play the pregnancy card because there was a "I'm pregnant, can I drive in the HOV lane?" in the FAQs.  Sadly, HOV does not recognize pregnant woman as two people.  You CAN however, go into the HOV lane with a baby of any age.  Makes me think twice about putting Harper into a daycare that's near my work instead of one near home.  Is that wrong?  Putting her in daycare in my work city so that I can get in the HOV lane in the morning?  Hehe.  Very tempting.

8 months - 32 weeks - 224 days

What the hell is a jicama?

Time Left: 6-8 weeks
                  42-56 days

Size of Baby:  weight = 3.75 lbs.
                        length = 16.7 in.
food comparison --------------}
I have no idea what the hell a jicama is and I'm also unclear as to why my fruit ticker keeps saying that she's the size of a squash.  It's been the same fruit for 3 weeks now.  I'm starting to get a little irked.

Some background information on the jicama; enjoy. Jicama is a crispy, sweet, edible root that resembles a turnip in physical appearance, although the plants are not related. Jicama has been cultivated in South America for centuries, and the vegetable is quite popular in Mexican cuisine. Jicama has a unique flavor that lends itself well to salads, salsas, and vegetable platters. The roots can sometimes grow to be quite large, although when they exceed the size of two fists, they begin to convert the sugars that give jicama its sweet flavor into starches, making the root somewhat woody to the taste.

Harper:  The third trimester has been very relieving for me.  If you've been following my journey you know that I never really felt pregnant (still don't besides the obvious belly and the person inside that tries to punch and claw her way out sometimes).  I have read online that a lot of doctors want you to do 'kick counts', which just means to pay attention to make sure that the baby is still moving around normally.  Four movements per hour is what I was told.  Well, at this point I can sit down, poke around, and find her whenever I want to.  For instance, right now she is hanging out right above my belly button.  The problem is that I have gotten so used to her hanging out in my uterus that I don't think it's fully come to fruition that she is going to come out and be a part of the world.  I think that is a problem.  I mean, we're working on the nursery, picking out a daycare, looking for a pediatrician, gathering up outfits and necessities but the fact that she is going to spring forth from my vag is too abstract for me to handle right now.
So,  my uterus dweller:

• has finger and toe nails - I wonder if she can scratch up the inside of my uterus or if they just cover the tips of her fingers/toes.  I'm guessing that she can't scratch me up.  There would have been horror stories about that somewhere if she could.
• has hair - hopefully not a head full.  I like the nice, fine baby hair that lightly covers their head.  If she's anything like me she's probably bald.  How soon can I pierce a baby's ears?
• Is sensitive to temperature changes.
• Now has a 90% chance of survival if born today.

Prenatal Yoga: I did some physical activity this week besides walking laps throughout the school!  I thought this would be a nice, light activity to do since I haven't done anything since the half-marathon.  Unfortunately I was dead wrong.  I have done yoga before and generally don't really enjoy it.  I'm a high impact, loud music, jump around kind of work-outer so yoga doesn't really do it for me.  Now, hot yoga is amazing but I can't do that while pregnant.  Anyway, I thought it would be fun to do with my bestie since she's also pregnant (due in January) so we met last night to check out a class for free.
When I got there no one else was in the studio so I immediately panic that I'm going to be the only one.  By the time class started there were five of us plus the instructor.  I was, by far, the furthest along with Robin as a close second.  The other three girls barely looked pregnant at all, which I'm sure was an advantage because they could still bend around quite easily.  I, for the first time, felt like a giant sow flopping around in her mud pen.  Here's what went down:

• Whenever I bent over (yes, I can still touch my toes) all of the blood rushed to my head and I was sure that my head would either explode or I would pass out.  About half of the class was us bending over and then raising back up.  Fun.  Downward dog and child's pose were almost unbearable.

You try doing this with a person in your belly!

Blood ------} Head

• Also while in evil downward dog position my body decided it wanted to have it's first experience with acid reflux.  So not only was blood rushing to my head, stomach acid was creeping up my esophagus and into my throat!  And yoga is supposed to be relaxing?!  How are you supposed to relax with all of your bodily fluids building up in places that they should not be?  Thank God I didn't have gas or poo issues last night or all hell might have broken loose.  They would have had a vomiting, fluffing, passed out pregnant lady on their hands.

So you can imagine that the whole time this is going on I'm thinking to myself, "There is no way I'm paying to come back and suffer through more of this torture."  And I was thinking exactly that as I checked the clock every five minutes praying that class would almost be over and it never was.  Once we got into the stretching poses I felt a lot better.  Sure I still moved around like a walrus but the stretching actually felt good.  It was at this juncture that I realized that I cannot bend the way that I'm used to.  I was reminded of that a few times by the instructor who nicely came over to 'help' me a few times (grrrr).  I like being the awesome one in class not the walrus lady who can barely get into the poses.  By the end of class I had the instruction physically holding my arm and leg down so that I could get into and stay in the correct twisty pose.  Problem there was that I couldn't even do much with her help because the twisty pose made the skin on my stomach feel like it was going to rip open.

Now, I did just do a lot of bitching and it was completely warranted however, once class was over and we left I did feel nicely stretched and relaxed.  Will I buy a 5-week pass?  No.  Might I pay for some drop-in classes?  Yes, but only for the social time with Robin and the after effects of feeling stretched and relaxed.  I'm pretty sure that the bitching and moaning will continue.

Weight Gain:  Starting weight - 140lbs.
                         Current weight - 168lbs.
                         Total weight gain - 28lbs.

According to my reading materials I am supposed to start gaining a pound a week which means that as long as I don't go swimming in vats of ice cream or smorgasbord on chips, I should weight 174-176lbs. by the time she comes. 

My Body:  Felt good this week.  No new complaints or pregnancy side-effects.  My cankles shrunk down to the point where they are still slightly swollen, but I can see my ankle bones again.  I'm tired, but that's because I don't go to sleep at a reasonable time for having to get up at 5am every day for work.

• I can no longer wear my wedding rings because my hands have swollen just enough to where they feel uncomfortable and I have to lick my finger to get them off.  It makes me feel very weird when I'm out in public somewhere with Bryan.  He has his wedding ring on and I'm all knocked up without mine.  I wonder how many people think that we're having a scandy affair when they see us out together.
• TMI ALERT - my right breasticle above the nip feels firm like there is a mass inside.  Not a Cancer mass, but I think that my lady lumps (at least one of them) is getting ready to feed Harper.  At least, I hope that's why it's getting firm where the milk production center is located.
• Apparently I'm still looking good because today in my department meeting when I was introduced and my colleagues found out that I am due November 22nd I heard, "No way!  She can't be that far along."  Ego boosts are always welcome.

The Nursery: 

Her name is hung and more butterflies have been painted.

Harper's swing -- thank you Aunt Sue!

Childbirth Class #4: We passed up a free screening to see the new Footloose movie to go to our childbirth class tonight.  Now I see why they make you pay $65 for it because if we paid less or if it was free, I'm sure that we would have gone to see the movie instead.  The problem with the class is that we're kind of over it at this point.  There are parts of the class that are interesting and informative, but how much can you possibly talk about the stages of labor before you start repeating things? I know the answer; about 2-3 hours.  Looking back, we should have just sucked it up and gone to the one-day, Saturday childbirth class in Suffolk instead of the 5-week, two hour class closer to home.  Stupid us.  So for all those preggy ladies reading this, and you all are multiplying by the day, just go for the one-day class.

Here are the 'highlights':

• We have a doctor in our class.  I have no idea what kind of doctor he is, but to get an idea of how awkward things got tonight I would like to take you back to high school, college, and/or any professional development things that you've gone to.  Are you there?  Great.  Ok.  You know 'that guy' that asks ridiculous questions and tries to contradict the teacher/presenter?  Yeah.  He's in our childbirth class.  I think that his wife was even embarrassed by how preposterous he was being.  Our nurse/instructor was talking about pushing and how the baby moves down through the birth canal and out into the world.  Mr. Doctor man asked her about 500 technical questions about the tailbone and how does being in an upright position help the baby pass by the tailbone.  I'm serious.  This was a good 15 minute debate.  I wanted to kick the back of his chair.  Bottom line is this:  dude, you are not pushing a baby out of your penis therefore don't worry about how to do it.  Also, your tailbone is not obstructing the baby's path through the birth canal.  You're a doctor.  You should know that.  
• We learned 'how to push' properly.  You must use your abs.  Plain and simple.  Along with that we were shown (and had to practice -- of course) a few positions that are good to be in while pushing.
• We got to watch a cesarian birth video.  I must say that cesarian birth is fascinating!  They didn't actually show the procedure.  It was an animation instead, but was equally amazing.  For a cesarian birth the doctor cuts through your epidermis and layer of fat underneath, then separates your abdominal muscles, and lastly cuts through your uterus to the baby.  I always thought that your abdominal muscles were cut!  They aren't!  They are just stretched out.  Once the baby is out the doctor works backward sewing your uterus, getting your abs back into place, and then sewing up your skin.  They also cut your so low (right above your pubic hair) that if you want to attempt a vaginal birth the next time around (VBAC) it really shouldn't be a problem because they don't cut the part of your uterus that does the brunt of the work.
• She also showed us forceps and the vacuum -- two tools that the doctor may use to help the baby pass through the birth canal.