Glucose Testing

8:30am - I am at the doctor's office with my little area all set up for this two-hour endeavor and things are already not looking so good.  I have an interview at 11:50, luckily right down the street, and they still haven't taken me.

8:47am - I have gone back for my first blood draw.  While back there I also had to drink my glucose concoction, which tasted a lot like extra sugary Fanta.  They had two flavors; orange and fruit punch.  I opted for the orange.  I'm so glad now that I found out that I was Lactose Intolerant because this glucose test was NOTHING compared to that.  The drink for that was chalky, nasty, and all of the mix settled to the bottom (ever have a cement mixer shot?).  Anyway, I had 5 minutes to chug my sugar which wasn't too hard.  Got my "soda" fix in.  Now I have to wait an hour to have my blood taken again.  Before I came back out into the waiting room I asked:

• Can I drink water?  I can "sip" water while I wait.
• What will happen if I do have Gestational Diabetes?  Side effects from the drink?
• Get very sleepy
• Vomit
• What will the baby do?  She is going to wake up and most likely move around.  I'm guessing the opposite, sugar coma.

Wonderful!!  Let's just hope that I do not have Gestational Diabetes, ok?  I do not want to vomit up extra sugary Fanta this morning.  I'm sure that doesn't taste good on the way back up.

Oh, I completely bled through my little gauze band-aid thing that she put over where she took my blood. Very weird.  That has never happened before.  I'm a little disturbed...

9:11am -  Alrighty!  Now I get it.  Don't feel your kids donuts and crap full of sugar before they go to school.  Bryan claims that I have ADHD as it is, it's a good thing that he's not here with me right now.  The sugar has officially hit and my mind is racing!!  Not only that but I am feeling super jittery and my hands are a little shaky like I'm coming down from a caffeine rush.  This is not enjoyable, especially since I'm trying to prepare for an interview and can no longer focus.  On top of that I'm starting to get super paranoid.  I should have never asked her what would happen if I did have Gestational Diabetes because now I feel like I am manifesting the symptoms.  I am super tired, getting hot, and my stomach doesn't feel quite right.  Hypochondria?  I sure hope so. 

9:47am - 2nd blood draw done.  She had to take it from my other arm since I bled all over the place from the first one.  There should be a nice heroine bruise tomorrow... still shaky and not able to focus very well.  I do not like this.  I feel like I need to go out and run around the building or something.  Red Bull ain't got nothin' on this glucose shit.  I want to sleep but that's only so I can sleep off this cracked out feeling.

10:21am - Oh God.  I just realized something as I was staring out the window at three mother/daughter sets that got out of their cars and then ended up in the office with me.  I am going to have to take Harper to the lady doctor!  I'm going to have to make sure that she isn't on a future installment of 16 and Pregnant.  Ahhhhh!!  Sweet Lord when do you even take your daughter for her first lady violation?  Thirteen?  There is another pregnant lady near me eating what looks like Cinnamon Toast Crunch.  I want to tackle her and steal her cereal.  Shouldn't be hard.  She's got a bigger belly than me.  I could easily get her off balance and knock her down, safely of course.  Twenty minutes to go and I'm outta here!  I think that the sugar high is starting to wear off...

10:47am - I made it!  Didn't vomit, didn't pass out so I am good to go.  Got my blood sucked one last time, which should leave both elbowpits looking heroine sheik.  The results won't be in until tomorrow but the nurse said that no new is good news.  Hopefully I won't hear from them tomorrow.

What did I do after this cracked out experience?  Ran home and ate a piece of pizza.  Stop judging.