Over-the-Shoulder Boulder Holder

{Warning: potential TMI below}

That's right everybody, it's "complain about boobs" time yet again!  If I were you I would be worried because the 'girls' are getting their own, private post because I feel like I have a lot to say. Since B got stuck out to sea on a job an extra four days I decided to pack up the dogs and head to my mom's house for a long weekend.  Mom has been bugging me about getting new bras for a while now and I have been avoiding it like the plague.  My DD denial is strong but the fact that I now have side boob, front boob, and cleavage that touches in the middle is beginning to overwhelm my denial.  Fact of the matter is... I'm no longer a DD and there is nothing I can do about it so I gave in.  Having mom offer to buy me a bra or two eased the pain a bit but I encountered another problem once I got into the dressing room.

I have sung the praises of Motherhood Maternity since first stepping foot into one, but today I came across a sales girl who was a little bobo.  On top of that, RF told me not to get bras from Motherhood, but with mom buying I figured I ought to try.  Bad idea.  Just for the sake of the story I currently stuff the 'ladies' into a 34DD.  Can anyone tell me why this woman brought me 40F (F is after DD for you lucky souls who didn't know that letters went after DD).  While the cup size was, sadly, a comfortable fit, I couldn't understand why the damn bras didn't provide ANY support.  If I wanted my breasticles to touch my stomach I would go braless.  Not the case  Also, I am a first-time mom here.  You need to warn me that the straps pop off of the front without warning.  I have never worn or shopped for a nursing bra and was very confused when the straps started popping off all over the place.  Picture that.  Me standing in the dressing room with a bra that's too wide, straps hanging off the back, cups hanging off the front, and me trying to twist and turn to grab the straps and regain control.  After trying on 6-8 different bras I began to investigate the problem.  Well, duh!  She wasn't brining me my size!  I leaned out with a handful of reject bras and kindly (sort of) reminded her that I currently wear a 34DD.
"Well, the shortest band size we carry after DD is 40"

1. How does that help me?
2. Why are you knowingly brining me the wrong size instead of telling me that in the first place?
3. Why does is seem to me that clothing manufacturers believe that pregnant means "fat" or "overweight"?  Yes, I went there but it's true.  My stomach is growing out not and it's not taking the rest of my body with it.  This is the first time that I've had a hard time finding clothes because they're too big.

My back hasn't gained weight and my ribs have not suddenly spread further apart.  I am still a 34 around, I just need a larger cup size.  Six inches is a lot!  I don't know how this woman thought I was going to make a 40 work. 

The story ends with me sitting on the couch with my sister's laptop and my boobs stuffed back into their 34DD suffocater.  Bra shopping now reminds me of bathing suit shopping.  I will dread the next time I am trying one on, which will be quite soon.  The day was not a complete loss.  I got a cute tunic, my very first pair of leggings (against my will), and the first item for the nursery; curtains. 

Yes, they are sheer.  Don't panic.  I am aware that it's best to make the room dark so she can sleep at any time day or night.  These are the decorative curtains.  We're going to either:

• put a thicker, colored drape behind to make the plant design pop out.
• put a ticker, colored drape in front to cover the light while she is sleeping and then be able to open it up when she's awake to let in light and display the sheer drape.